Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
