Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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