Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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