weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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