Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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