how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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