someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize