Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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