I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She's the barista slut.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
