I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
