Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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