You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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