you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
