I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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