Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
