worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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