I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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