Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
