What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
