we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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