these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
