Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
