i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
