Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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