At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Such a big mess for such a small penis
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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