Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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