It's like God shit irony all over that family
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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