Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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