Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
