Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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