Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
