How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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