It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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