Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We're too hungover to prance.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
