Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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