Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize