Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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