suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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