Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
