I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
