Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
