Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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