Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This is not my ceiling
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
