you traded sex for a burrito?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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