They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
