ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
