do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
