I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize