I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
