Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
