uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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