I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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