On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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