Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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