Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i now understand why vodka
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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