If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
