Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
