Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
