I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
