smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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