I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
