I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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