I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
