Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
