Well douche your snatch and let's go!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize