I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
